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  • My biography, said one way:

    84: swallows playground wood chip; goes to hospital
    87: chokes on apple juice; recurring
    89: commences 12-year cheerleading stint
    90: self-publishes magazine on electric typewriter; charges $.25
    94: moves in with grandfather
    95: rollerskating nationals, 12th place
    96: moves in with grandmother
    97: french kisses, finally
    98: first cigarette with older brother's friend
    99: named editor of H.S. yearbook
    00: fender bender on senior skip day
    02: steals photos from wal-mart
    04: last of friends to get a cell phone
    06: walks to verrazano bridge with future boyfriend
    07: stops smoking; leaves the country to backpack
    09: calls in sick to watch Obama's inauguration
    11: breaks a bone. yes, rollerskating.
    12: takes 2,500-mile east coast road trip for Christmas
    13: welcomes the new year in a princess mask
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