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  • no exercise wheezing but then
    the stethoscope reveals
    it may be the heart not lungs so she orders
    a test where I get to add a friendly grizzled nurse
    to the tiny handful of males who have seen
    me without a bra. (I'm flustered
    but this doesn't seem to be
    a considered factor for diagnosis)
    I listen to the printer pump out my
    charts, and ten minutes later:
    "Got a rogue beat in your heart,"
    my doctor tells me. And I laugh, thinking-
    ain't that the truth??
    Part of me is scared to proceed- what if
    something is wrong? But part of me is
    perversely relieved. Finally these inner patterns
    channeling hurt? hunger? desire?
    are making themselves known,
    poking their wild and wayward selves
    into the light, demanding
    to be seen.
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