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  • The woman sobs and sobs. She has been married for 30 years. She met her husband in high school, those, she remembers, were such happy times. In her family she never felt loved, his family always talked bad about her, but she and him, her first boy - friend, they were happy, they got married against all the odds and all the gossip in both families. She had her daughter. She should have been happy, but instead she watched him turn into a good Mexican macho. He started drinking while she attended to their baby girl.

    Then she discovered that her husband had an affair with his own sister, who was just 14 years old then! One of her other sisters - in - law told her. Her husband denied it all. The girl, her husband´s sister, also had relations with two other older brothers and her own boy - friend. When the girl thought she had gotten pregnant, she told the family that this brother, the woman´s husband, was the father of the baby. The woman, who still sobs telling me this unbelievable story says that she went to talk to her young sister - in - law. The girl screamed at her," I will have a baby girl by my brother, your husband, and my baby girl will be so much more beautiful than yours!"

    The woman went and accused her husband and his brothers of incest and having sexual relations with a just 14 year old girl.

    The girl declared that she was never raped, she had always given her consensus to the sex. The men still went to prison.

    After some time the woman had the opportunity to take her husband out of prison, the family visited her every day, her own and her husband´s, and told her it was all her fault, she was a bad woman, she flirted with other men, she was a puta (prostitute) and that was the true reason for her husband looking for consolation with his own sister.

    The woman finally went and got her husband out of prison, had another baby with him, took up with his drinking and more unfaithfulness on his side. Meanwhile she raised the kids and started a little corner store, which started doing really well.

    She has been married now for thirty years, her kids are grown and married themselves. Who has not died in her and her husband´s family still wants her to help with money, which she constantly does, and still despises her. She is fifty years old now. Since 2 months she has a young lover.

    For the first time in her life she listens to another human - being telling her she is beautiful, for the first time she feels respected and loved. She is in heaven. She is in hell. This man is much younger and also married and now he is getting possessive and sickly jealous.....

    She now knows that feeling loved is possible. She now has to decide how she wants to spend the rest of her life. She now sees that maybe she can learn to love herself with or without this or that man.

    This woman hurts and cries and screams and she is finally waking up.

    Her biggest enemy rumbles around inside her own head: the fear of being a " bad woman".



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    Art by Kiki

    Cowbird here

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