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  • This new year does not feel as new as I had hoped.
    It seems as though everyone else is starting out the year with huge news. News equals change and most changes are being dumped on my lap like napalm. They all have so much going on. Everyone is suddenly getting married, getting great jobs, leaving the country... What am I doing? How did I end up the way I did? All of the sudden I have absolutely no relevant news compared to them. And I feel so stuck. So... not free.

    I have been having a horrible feeling that the best part of my life is gone. I find myself regretting so many things I am sure that are never happening again. And I miss so many things and so many people. Why can't I be like all of those that have left my life and just put it all behind me, forget everyone. Like they did. Why can't I be like that?

    And all of this is just happening so incredibly fast. It's like I wake up and months have gone by. And I'm still the same.

    I guess that just because I try so hard not to let time go by so fast, it doesn't mean it doesn't go by at all, right?
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