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  • i have been working for weeks cooking for other people. weddings, staff christmas parties, swanky private dinners for rich foreigners. tours through the wine country. relentless cooking. unending procurement and clean up and falling into bed at night , spent, aching. it was also over the christmas holiday where i managed a lovely eve dinner, that i cooked, but i spent the rest alone. i got the flu. someone i loved died. close friends were going through huge challenges,new years eve was my anniversary with my x, new years day marked the 32nd year of my mother's passing. i spent those days alone, preparing , cooking, foraging. i was okay, but it was also hard. my exhaustion and gratitude is tremendous.

    yesterday, after my long haul of this slog of nurturing everyone else, mark, my x, and i went to our local roadhouse for burgers. i order mine "rare, no kidding. fries and a side of thousand island, please"....
    i was consumed by this burger, there was sauce everywhere, red onion flying out the sides , ketchup dripping down my chin, my hands covered in fat and mayonaise when this very tall, very elderly man, impeccably dressed with a large hearing aid in his right ear approached our table and politely asked Mark if he may speak to me. Mark agreed, eyes wide at this gesture, and then this very tall, very old, very elegant man, took my greasy drippy hand in his, his eyes lit up like a child might, seeing an astonishment, and said " i was watching you across the room, and when Dorothy brought you that burger, you pulled up the sleeves of your sweater, and i nearly laughed out loud! The look on your face! I just wanted to thank you for making my day"

    see. this is the beauty of us.
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