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  • When a day or year is put to something that has held me back, it can be daunting. Fear, fear is a constant in every step that I take. What a way to live.

    This was written in October of 1999! The reality just hit me. Wow! That is a long time to be scared. How stressful. Frequently, I wake in a cold sweat from the nightmare of dealing with an evil psychopath for years. He had spun a web so tight around me that I became paralyzed with a fear of death and it almost killed me. I made a pact to myself today after reading this:

    The Haunting

    What is this feeling
    Makes me sad inside
    When I’m alone

    My heart is reeling
    Oh, I must confide
    That I must have known
    That the past would haunt me
    While I sleep at night
    And it stands before me
    In the mirrors’ light

    Tell me something
    Would you be surprised
    That I cry at night in the full moon’s light

    Oh, what a sight
    To see the fright
    That a man should taunt me
    As I dream each night
    And the lines are written
    In the mirrors’ light

    What was this evil
    That walked the halls
    Broke down my walls

    Evil rules society
    For he is free and I could scream
    Was this a dream
    That a man could harm me
    So disarm me

    Evil rules in society
    And the past still haunts me
    As I sleep at night
    And it stands before me
    In the mirror’s light


    You ugly beast with no conscience! I am taking control of my life! I restore the power that you robbed from me! I am no longer your hostage to control. I am no longer your marionette. I am free! Safe.

    I woke up today, January 7, 2013 and realized that you cannot break what has already been broken. I am no longer afraid.

    Photo of Marionettes in a storefront of Croatia 2012 by Audrey B.
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