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I wish I could tell you. by Julie Dolak

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  • I wanted to go back in time. I wanted to tell you that you could be a doctor if you really want to. I wanted to start over again.

    If I could, I would enter into your mind and explain what it's like to sleep on your friend's couch for three months. I would share the sinking feeling in your stomach when you picked up the phone to call your parents and ask for help covering your bills. I would share all of these things with you in advance so that you would not check the box on your application to say "Marketing" instead of "Pre-Med."

    I want you to know what debt feels like. It's not crippling. It's not scary.

    Remember when you were eight years old and finally allowed to ride your bike down the Fay Street hill? It was fast and fun and for a second you felt out of control and free, but then... then you turned around and realized that in order to get home you had to climb back up the hill.

    That part was hard, and long, and oddly unexpected. Everyone else in the neighborhood only talked about how fun it was to ride your bike down the Fay Street hill. No one ever mentioned how hard it was to pedal back home.

    You had your fun, you rode fast, you enjoyed it. You stopped, turned around, and realized that now you have to work hard to climb back up. Except, now your own determination is not enough.

    No matter how hard you pedal, you will still lose your job.

    I wish I could tell you, if not me, then someone. This is me telling someone, anyone, how hard it will be to climb back up that hill.
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