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  • Someone I believed was a friend, whom I've known since high school to my realization was living a lie and another life it seems. I apparently was oblivious to his advances and what I thought was being his friend when we hung out, and in group settings, he was making up this elaborate thought and vision of something quite different. Long story short, he advised his ex wife his interest in me (Which at the time I'm completely unaware of) and then when she threatened him that she would reach out to me, which she attempted to via my work phone and via a Facebook message (which you will find the letter below) things came to light.

    I advised him we can no longer be friends, for a friendship that I thought was there was built on lies.

    Below is a letter (copy/pasted) I received from his ex-wife a month later after finding out about these lies.

    I wanted to introduce myself. I am Kelsey ex wife and until this morning his girlfriend as well. The picture posted on your FB stabbed me in the heart, it's the final nail in the coffin of our family. Truly devastated. I don't know you, and I don't think you are a bad person. I am sorry that I am introducing myself under these circumstances, but I wanted you to be let in on what I know about you.
    When Kelsey first went out on a date with you it was a few years ago at Dos Gringos I think August of 2010. He did so to get under my skin and I had a very painful call from a friend of mine letting me know you all were out and he was dancing and hugging on you. He had read this book that if you go out on a date and get caught it may make your spouse want to reconcile. Well it worked that time and we got back together.
    The following year when you all went out to dinner it was about 3 weeks after I had asked him to move out. His parents were against it, but he went anyway. He bragged about it to a friend of his and one of their wives called me and asked if I was ok. I wasn't even aware he had started dating. After going out on a date with you he came to me and told me he was going to do what he wanted, when he wanted and I had no control over that, then gave me 14 days to file for divorce because he wanted to date you. He and I reconciled in May of last year and while I was on vacation in June of last year with our children he slept with a woman. I looked past it, and we stayed together until late August when he started talking to two women, then broke up with me to carry on with them, I took him back then the house fire, stood with him through that. After the holidays we started a reconciliation class at my church. The first night after we started class he got onto my computer ( as he did through out our marriage) and snooped in all my personal e-mails, chats, ect. Total violation of privacy, when he confessed I stopped seeing him.
    June of this year, after a few months, we cool off and he and I start to reconcile again, then you had your birthday party on the light rail, and he went ( we were casually dating, and he was seeing a few other women as well). I understand that nothing went on that night but he told me that he had been trying to date you and you hadn't picked up on it. He and I have been seeing each other since June. We were working on reconciling our family and getting there together. We had a minor spat over the past week. He told me that you and he kissed this weekend at your high school reunion. I am sure you didn't know that we were together. I knew that something happened, my women's intuition kicked in that night, and I felt a sinking feeling, I knew something had happened. I just knew what was coming my way.
    I am not blaming you. I just wanted to let you know where he and I stood each time that he has engaged you. I like to have all the information before I make a huge life decision, and this is something I would like to know if I were in your shoes, your a smart woman, and I'm sure you would like the same.
    I will say this, should you choose to date him, we will meet. He and I have a daughter together. I will be cordial, nice, and not cause issues between the two of you. He likes you very very much. He has liked you since high school, always had a crush on her, is the way he likes to put it. He has told me you are smart, funny, intelligent, and beautiful. You defiantly have an admirer in Kelsey. I want nothing but good things for him. I want him to be happy. I thought I could do that, but I didn't measure up.
    He broke made a promise to me that should he decide he was done he would let me know before taking action, he cheated on me. I kissed a guy that wanted an inappropriate relationship with me while I was marred and got raked over the coals for it for years by Kelsey. This was cheating on his part. Make no excuses, tell yourself no lies. Go into this eyes wide open knowing who you are dealing with, and what they are capable of. I am coming to you as a woman here, that has been through the ringer, and would love to prevent anyone else from going through the same. He has taken my keys, kicked me out of my home, he has an addiction to porn and video games, he has taken money from our accounts and all the while I kept thinking I love him and kept giving him one more chance, one more chance to make this better.
    You can reply if you want. I would be happy to grab a cup of coffee with you, or lunch should you be considering moving forward with him in a serious relationship. There is plenty of experience I have. Kind of like handing off an account from one person to another at work.
    Best of luck in all your future endeavors.
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