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  • Today marks 20 years (to the day) since my friend was murdered in a random shooting. I didn’t get a chance to know him very well, but I knew that he was very gentle and kind and had been nice to me when a lot of surrounding people hadn’t been. I wasn’t close with him and I didn’t feel like I had a right to be sad or distraught over his death. I was careful not to talk about it too much so that no one would call me out on that fact, even though I don’t think anyone actually would think or do that in reality. The thought of him studying quietly one minute and being shot and killed the next haunted me for a long time. Last year I read a memoir his father wrote and was deeply affected by the details surrounding his death and what happened to his family as a result. They are good and simple people with big hearts. No one deserves to be murdered or lose a family member to murder, but why them?

    Then came Columbine in 1999 and Virginia Tech in 2007 and on and on and on. I have watched these stories unfold in horror and can only imagine how families who have been more directly affected by this are feeling. There have been 30+ school shootings since Columbine, including today. We are slowly learning about an elementary school shooting where the numbers are still coming in but it’s looking like a lot of little kids have been murdered or have now witnessed murder.

    Random thoughts that are obsessively spinning in my head right now: A mother sent her first grader off to school this morning in a relatively affluent area, believing it was safe, and now he's dead. Home schooling seems so flawed in some ways but so valid in many others. People believe we have the right to own assault rifles, murder weapons. Things who’s only purpose is to kill people exist. My uterus has been screaming to make babies for the past 15 or so years, but why would I want to bring a new innocent little life into such a terrible place? My friend’s family most likely woke up this morning already feeling sad about the anniversary of his death and the news of yet another shooting must be devastating. Bad things happen to good people and that there’s nothing anybody can do to change that.
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