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  • If you are reading this, then you have made it this far.
    But let's be candid. You can't afford to stop here. Here is just the beginning.

    You'll find an envelope to the left of you. Pick it up. Put it in your pocket. You'll need that later.
    Just so you know, from here on in, it's all going to get a bit weird. Not bad or good. Just weird. Don't worry. That's normal.
    Now. Next thing. Put the light on. Can't find the switch?
    That's your first job.
    Want a clue?
    It'll be in the last place you look. Literally and metaphorically. I know that's a cliche, there's a reason for cliches.

    No, you don't need to write anything down, besides, I don't think they gave you a pen or paper - did they? So probably best to just see what happens, you might remember things or you might not. You could try listening (to yourself). That's always good.

    Anyway, I haven't got long. I brought you this.

    "Don't fucking listen to any more bollocks"
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