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  • yet one more thing to fail at!

    It seems like I am very good at finding ways to make me feel bad about myself. I thought I would step out of my self imposed comfort zone and try something new. Well I certainly did that tonight. Right up to the time the wall climbing class would start I began to have doubts, even had the thought of not turning up and writing it off as a mistake.

    The people already clambering up the wall made it look so easy and effortless. Soon it was my turn, with my harness securely on I made my first tentative steps and managed to climb about twice my height, it was difficult at times as I am not used to using my body weight to haul myself up. The problems came when I had to make the descent - the thought of leaning back into the harness and letting my hands fall away from the wall was very frightening to say the least.

    I had about 5-6 attempts but it was on my last climb that it happened. I had managed to climb that bit further, made the mistake of looking down and that was it. I was crippled with fear, unable to let go of the wall. I knew I could not stay clinging to the wall forever, that eventually I would have to come down (or even worse have the instructor climb up to help me down).

    I did eventually prise my hands of the wall and it was with relief that I came tumbling to the floor - hardly a smooth landing. I felt no embarrassment at picking myself of the floor.

    It was the feeling of failure and losing my nerve that has hit me hard.
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