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  • Long passing thoughts of what is, what is not, what might be and maybe if it ever will be? I do not pose these as questions which I would like anyone to answer or if even I should attempt these inevitable thoughts at all. Why am I pondering these thoughts then? What is the subject of these thoughts and why am I thinking them? Well trying to answer even these questions would be me attempting to answer the original ponder themselves. Thus I will leave them hanging and allow my subconsciousness to ponder these mysteries as we all know its the one part we do not really understand or control.... really.

    How did I get here?

    Today started with an abrupt rude awakening which leads with me getting dressed and tripping over to work, plonk myself at my over cluttered scribblings and hiero-code-glyphs, I promised myself I would optimize best I can, half empty coffee cup and exhausted computer. Code code code code... coffee, gulp, ouch, gulp..... code code code code..... DONE, or so I thought. Going through all my work again hunting for a digital gremlin, which I probably created while distracted by weird mutterings of a coworker, find it "kill it" (or more smacked myself for being so stupid, silly me) and compiled. EUREKA!!!! Further more explaining my creation to other coworkers so they might benefit from my creation (not gonna bore you folks with the details of that.... not today anyway).

    Tripping back to the car only this time on a caffeine high, not good for congested traffic. I get home all safe, for a moment trying to retrace the memory of the trip.... not all is there..... O well.... LOL..... uhm..... O!, yes... So there I was home with holes in my memory, caffeine high and a building headache (which for me was weird cause I heard a rumor that caffeine dulls pain....hmmmmmmmmmmmmm). With all this going on, smart-arse-I-am, I decided to go for a 20 min run. Luckily this helps ease the headache or so it seemed to me, I then take a shower, plonk on the bed and start to relax. Still could not fill in the memory gaps.

    I slowly spin off into the blackness of sleep ,nope no dreams, only to wake up with a startled yet muffled 'yulp!' only to realize I was not falling into some abyss. Thank goodness for that.

    Is this me? Is this where I am? Is this where I am going to stay and meander to my grave?

    While I am typing this, I realize that I have not eaten all day!!!!!! Headache is making perfect sense now and so does the blackouts........

    Thus getting to the questions I started with. What to do?

    It is 20 past midnight... I hand myself over to my subconsciousness to figure out for now.
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