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  • L,

    Since we have to share a bathroom and the adjoining loft, perhaps you could take some of my feelings into consideration for a change:

    1) Stop tossing your discarded clothes on me. They are called hangers for a reason. Use them. If you don't have enough, go buy some more. It's called a store.

    2) Use the fan when you shower. The humidity is killing me. I came from Houston, you know. It brings back too many memories I'd just as soon not revisit. Besides, it's making my threads frizzy.

    3) Speaking of showers, stop trying to sing that Alanis Morissette song while you bathe. The octave is way above your vocal abilities and it's embarrassing. You sound like Katy Perry after a helium binge. I'm surprised your dogs aren't howling. And by the way, running the water doesn't "help with the acoustics."

    4) You have one of those dodgy toilet handles that Dan was talking about. Shame on you.

    5) Those legs...lay off the pie. Or beer. Or both. Some of us have to watch you dress whether we want to or not. Just sayin'.

    6) Roll up the toothpaste tube. Just a pet peeve of mine.

    7) Turn out the light when you leave the room. My chick and I could use some privacy.

    Thanks in advance,

    The Monkey and the faux Barbie with the ginormous head


    This is an homage to Dan Cox and his hilarious sock monkey stories. When I read "What's the Manner With You?" I laughed so hard I almost choked on my pie, er, I mean salad.
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