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  • In the quiet of the morning, with plenty of time, I began to work the cold dough. The gingerbread, dark with molasses, fragrant with ginger, was ready to be shaped and baked. While the oven warmed I kneaded and rolled, cut out the gingerbread men and stars and enjoyed the feel, smell tastes (of course!) and memories, because I could. Because enough of what used to send me into a frenzy at times like this has been released. I am revelling in this realization to mark the importance of this. I don’t want to call it an accomplishment. Maybe evolution fits, maybe not. All I know is it is where I am now and I like it.

    You might recognize yourself in this story. In the past, additional activities or projects were such a double-edged sword. Saying yes felt good. Planning my contribution felt good. Imagining the scenes as I shared and presented my offerings felt good. But fitting it into my normal routine and around my other responsibilities often left me frazzled, frenzied and irritable. Details aren’t important, especially if you are nodding knowingly with a wry smile on your face right now, but if you need some amusement or confirmation, I can easily think of scenarios involving gaggles of gingerbread men, batches of fudge, knitting projects and homemade cards.

    Each started with a lovely intention. I really wanted to do all those things and all the other things, and really, I wanted to enjoy them along the way. I just didn’t know how.

    I didn’t know that hurrying doesn’t really work. I didn’t believe that I could pick and choose and decide to enjoy the process. And I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry for all the stress and discomfort my frazzled, frenzied states caused others.

    But now I know differently, because I have experienced it. I found a way. I eased into a new way.

    This week I managed to prepare my jewellery collection and gingerbread cookies for the craft fair, and create a new banana muffin recipe, while continuing at a steady pace on some knitting that I want to be a Christmas present—on time. In a week sprinkled with news of deaths and the usual household responsibilities, I enjoyed these creations, these holiday preparations. (I even have a vague memory of mopping the kitchen floor, really?)

    I just want you to know it is possible. I want you to ease at reading my story and let go of some of what en-frenzies you this holiday season so you can open to the enjoyment of more moments, the process, the interactions and the memories.

    If you pressed me, asking how, I might talk about meditation and Ho’oponopono and mindfulness, but I wouldn’t be able to give you a step-by-step, it wasn’t like that. We could talk about Law of Attraction, Abraham, Conversations with God, inner peace and affirmations, but like the best recipe, it will have to be adjusted for you. Maybe desire is enough. Ask and it is given. Ask for what you truly want—peace, understanding, ease, flow, fun….whatever! Trust me—it gets really fun!
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