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  • Wash your paws with your tong but don’t try to lick me after; fetch the ball so your owner doesn’t have to go get it; Lick the plate clean but don’t beg for scraps at the dinner table; this is how to walk on a leash don’t pull or you will hurt your neck and my arm, always wear your collar and be nice to strangers who come to pet you; don’t bark at other dogs because it is rood; don’t bark at cats it only frightens them away; don’t bark at the mail man or we may never get our mail; woof woof wooo- in fact don’t bark unless you are told to speak; Always be happy to see me; always greet your owner with kisses and a big hug even if I try to push you away; Being cute is the most Important thing but you cannot be cute if you are not clean; you must eat dog food because garbage is not clean; but don’t breath in my face after you have eaten no matter what it was, rolling in the mud is forbidden; you need to love me unconditionally; but make sure you sleep at the bottom of the bed; this is how to sit, and this is how to stay; being obedient is the most important thing; Woof Woo…I did not ask you to speak bad dog! Do you mean to tell me after all this you would be the kind of dog to bark at his master?
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