Forgot your password?

We just sent you an email, containing instructions for how to reset your password.

Sign in

  • It's a lumberjacks home, we are approaching a log cabin out in the deep woods. A stone chimney channels the holiday smoke. The windows are all alit. There are so many womanly touches around, You know, tha when we get inside out of thei f'ing wet cold, we are going to see a women in there, but that hasn't happened yet,. A few moose, no scracth that... A few Deer, big ones 34 pointers, bigger than Reindeers are out there eating whats left of the Rhodies, azelas, and coxcome. We hear an explosion and one of them deeers lays down on a table cloth that will come into play later on in the commercial.. Notch up another one for the Paul Bunyhan of the woods , even though its not his que, we now know he is not a lucky spokesmen for PETA, but, he is somewhere close with a M-16.
    A good trusty old stlye hunting riffle from way back in the 60's.

    We see the steam rising off that newly felled carcass.
    Music comes up. Not quite the ol' bing Crosby most of you were expecting but "In Memeory of Elizabeth Reed" is our evening entree into the household life of our intrepid woodsman. The camera passes straight through the glass, but the camera man does't quite guide us in where he is supposed to, so there IS a Crash. The director hand signals to KEEEEP GOING with out screaming " what the FFFFFFFFFF?
    He chews down a pint and half of bile his wife offered up a few hours ago and swallows it down, almost chocking himself senseless ( which if it were up to him?, he would be)
    Cameras take us into the domestic bliss of the countryman's home
    A cat can be heard mewing in the best Rockwell tradition, while we are led past a very upscale and contemporary living room/dinning/kitchen/outhouse..( strike the out house/) and down a hall to a bedroom where a large shadow moves off camera , you know its the Man of the Cabin.. the lens still comes forward and onto an overview of a mirror, that lays full of some white lines.. Thick 80's kinda lines you might remember from Predator 2, When all the Pisalerros are about to get smacked down by a bad bad Alien MF'er who doesn't realize that Swartznegger has become the Govenator.
    but.. I digreesss.. ( where Geoff spelling list now?) but we don't actually see any of that white junk being used, we just see it as eye candy as we pass off through a wall into a bathroom scene with a NOW screaming woman on the CAN , starting to articulate exactly what she thinks, but the camera speeeeds up right through that disaster of Family reunion Madness and into a Catskinner's room, where, we gasp in mental frustration in the hope that we finally are introduced to a well groomed thoughtful Patron of the place.....
    But no, all we see is a cat named Jane


    "CUT" the director is about to go around the bend.. This is the 159 take..
    He pulls a gun
    the smart ones duck duck duck goose
    the slow ones with wide eyes count in milliseconds their chances of dodging a fussilade from a Mac 10...
    but, as the director aims at a few choice targets, who desrve to be Aired out, A Monty Python God splits the heavens and his hand pulls off 50 rounds into the roof,instead, which later , he will be sued for,, after he gets sentenced to 5 years , with "TIme Served" after explaining the situation to a freind of a friend who is the judges own coke dealer.

    The cat gets away, the power goes down, the sound stage is now full of dust, as we try to reconcile all these images stuffed into us by some simpleton, some madman, who has led us this far.. ( we hear some sort of off off off stage laughing..) as you are finally coming to the realization that this dude has past around the corner ...like agesssss ago!!!
    but is still trying to cook breakfast while louie Armstrong has taken over for the Allman brothers..

    oh, yeah, this all started with an idea.. A suasage meat Air freshner cum Man's deordorant..... before I had to go chop some kindling... It came like most of my Scribbs do.. Like a very clear Flashback, like the ones I was always promised During My Acid days..

    Bammm! full picture.. yet wandering, fuzzy, and then crystal clear concepts of time and space, with all the appropriate misspellings that come along with not Ever being in a spelling bee, due to criminal lawsuits from when I was 5 or 6... YOU guessed it... Fires..

    well.. there ya go.. a real look inside HOP TV..

    Didn't you read the warning at the top?

    don't forget to sprout sprout sprout and any other little thing you can think of while you travesrse your own family walks through dystopia myopia..

    as always.. lun, no scratch that,, LUV hop..
    • Share

    Connected stories:

About

Collections let you gather your favorite stories into shareable groups.

To collect stories, please become a Citizen.

    Copy and paste this embed code into your web page:

    px wide
    px tall
    Send this story to a friend:
    Would you like to send another?

      To retell stories, please .

        Sprouting stories lets you respond with a story of your own — like telling stories ’round a campfire.

        To sprout stories, please .

            Better browser, please.

            To view Cowbird, please use the latest version of Chrome, Safari, Firefox, Opera, or Internet Explorer.