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  • I thought I would share with you a new theory that has recently been brought to my attention.

    Just a theory, mind. It has yet to have the rigours of logic and experimentation applied to it.
    It may well be that you can find fruitful furtherance of your academic career right here.

    OK. Here it is;

    Sharks only eat wet people.

    That's it.

    Not saying that that is all they eat. Just saying that if they eat a human being, that human being has to be wet.

    Cannot remember seeing or hearing a report of a shark attacking a dry human being.
    That is not evidence, as you well know. Just hearsay.

    Now. We can approach this in two ways. We can actually do both.

    Firstly, if you would wish to avoid a shark attack, stay dry. Do not even think of getting wet.
    You are, perhaps, at your most vulnerable to sharks when wet. They seem to know.

    Secondly - and more importantly - an experiment needs to be carried out to disprove/prove this theory.
    I suggest say, three wet people and three dry people and a tank of sharks.

    Make the dry people stand around the tank and chuck the three wet people into the tank.
    Then, given an amount of time, count how many wet people were attacked by the sharks as
    opposed to how many dry people were attacked.

    You can realistically only do this once. You will run out of "wet" volunteers very quickly. I know.

    I feel a paper coming on....
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