Forgot your password?

We just sent you an email, containing instructions for how to reset your password.

Sign in

  • The German trying to pick up on the Norge – I’m just real drunk and they come into my space. So I join in, and he thinks I’m competition. A real dork this one. Receding, curly hair. Short. Tells me he works for some government ministry. Like that’s supposed to impress me. Asks me what I do. A historian.

    “What do you know about German history?”

    “Ask me.”


    “Revolution of course! The Frankfurt Assembly. But the middle-class sells out their working class allies and aligned with the monarchists.”

    He’s set back a bit, but smirks. “Why did it happen?”

    “Napoleon!” I say, but then he really guffaws and I’m not allowed to explain the influence of the French Revolution, the Metternich reaction, the rise of liberal nationalism, etc. Probably thinks I’m some Marxist.

    “You know nothing about German history” he says. I do a yeah whatever laugh. The Norge girl steps in and plays the diplomat. “Everybody sees their own history different.” She’s right, of course. But I can’t stop.

    “Sonderwieg mother fucker!” I blurt out. “Franz Fischer! You know who he is?” He nods yes, and the exchange ends. He won’t admit it, of course, but I have proven not only am I taller and better-looking than him, but I know as much as he does, if not more, about his own history. He knows he’s no competition for me. I was really no threat to his attempted scam, after all, he had no chance anyway, and I was too drunk to do anything or try anything with any girl. But I was going to enjoy his frustration.

    In many ways I seek to define myself as the anti-American, the one not like the others, who speaks some other languages (badly), knows about global politics and history as much as anybody else. But I am still such an American. The arrogance, the competitiveness. Is it right to help this Norge girl out by blocking this guy? Or should I try to help out a bro? Or is it just that I’m not gonna get any, since I’m getting to drunk to fuck, so screw these lame, desperate guys? The thing about the Norge chick was that she carried herself with some respect.

    The German girl the Mex-Greek guy was hitting on earlier was different. She glommed onto me in my corner to get away from the guy, talking smack about him and the club, saying how the club was a place where desperate guys come. Soon, with my help by just being there, the Greek-Mex guy went away. Then her girlfriend came over with some German guy. They asked us to go dancing with them. I did, and the German girl started to do the grind up against me, her ass on my cock. Then her and her friend started dancing with each other, and a circle of guys formed around them. It was like some circle jerk was going to begin with these girls in the middle grinding it out. So I went back to my corner. A bit later she comes by and she says “Everybody here is so desperate for attention.”

    “Like you dancing in front of all the boys”

    “Oh no no no.” And she walks away. Yeah, play the game. By the end of the night she was passed out at some table, a guy secretly feeling her up. Where was her friend? Who knows? No respect.


    picture of a drunk this night falling in traffic
    • Share

    Connected stories:


Collections let you gather your favorite stories into shareable groups.

To collect stories, please become a Citizen.

    Copy and paste this embed code into your web page:

    px wide
    px tall
    Send this story to a friend:
    Would you like to send another?

      To retell stories, please .

        Sprouting stories lets you respond with a story of your own — like telling stories ’round a campfire.

        To sprout stories, please .

            Better browser, please.

            To view Cowbird, please use the latest version of Chrome, Safari, Firefox, Opera, or Internet Explorer.