I was watching the pilot of Twin Peaks for the first time [ever in my life] the night I detected a breast lump last year. I was in bed, captivated, watching Twin Peaks instantly on Netflix when I felt a sensation in my left breast, like an itch, but not on the skin. My fingers didn't have to explore for more than an instant to recognize they had landed on a peak atop a peak, and I knew immediately what I was touching as a dark chill ran through my body. I paused the show for a minute to acknowledge what was happening, then I told myself that I would visit a doctor first thing the next morning. I then proceeded to watch the rest of episodes 1 & 2.
It would be another week before I got a cancer diagnosis, but it wasn't a painstaking wait because, like I said, my intuition spoke loud and clear. Actually, I felt ready. I know that sounds weird but, you see, just a few months earlier I had turned 40, and I found myself grateful to feel that the old adage was true - 'life really does begin at this age!' Because for the first time in my life I could honestly say 'I am comfortable in my skin and I know who I am'. I was experiencing a remarkable sense of clarity about my life after a decade of internal strife, and the morning after detection, I had a strange sense that I could handle a cancer diagnosis at this time. That, in fact, it was fortuitous timing seeing as how I was feeling grounded after doing a lot of self-work. It occurred to me that should this health issue have presented itself at any other time in years prior, I would have cracked.
My approach to cancer has been a holistic one from the start. Doctors said I was dealing with a stage 3 cancer and I needed to have surgery, but I still spent a year exploring other options while going inside to understand the roots of my dis-ease; this became the metaphorical rabbit hole journey, and Twin Peaks turned out to be the perfect companion. For me, the show's ambience is like a womb of wintery visuals blended beautifully with deep, rich crimson and anachronistically haunting characters and music. Beyond aesthetics, I gain wisdom and guidance. David Lynch channels his vast spiritual knowledge and understanding into unique artistic expression…cinematic storytelling at its finest. For many months, I drew closer and closer to my shadow with the help of Twin Peaks, the stories of which magically shed light on the dark force of fear.
Thinking back on it now I realize how, where most people might turn to god and go to church, I reached for the remote and found comfort in creativity, mysticism, and the genius of David Lynch. It's over a year later now and I still turn to Peaks, often on the more challenging days. Twin Peaks brings me back to the place inside myself that I trust. The place where art and nature reside. The place I guess you call Spirit.