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  • I am a (sometimes) shamanic practitioner. I have spirit guides. They are "angels" of various kinds.

    For the past three days, I have been visited by a Warthog spirit guide. I wondered, "why a warthog 'angel'?" Today I found out. This is scary stuff for me to share. But I decided I would.

    Journey: Beautiful Warren, Beautiful Me

    Warren the Warthog came back for the third day in a row. He, the hummingbirds and the grandmother carried me out of the cave and cleansed me in the water of a pool near the waterfall. They also did a longer than usual series of ethereal cleansings and healings. Some were of normal varieties (the ones they always do), but they did a new one today.

    Cups healing: (It is had to describe because I don’t always have words to say exactly what happened.) The spirit guides, Warren, the grandmothers and the hummingbirds caused an ethereal disc to appear in my ethereal body at about the Dan T’ian. It looked like a vinyl record spinning, only transparent and yellow gold-ish. It was spinning clockwise instead of the more usual counter clockwise (as was one of the earlier healings they did) if viewed from above. The disk was whirling out sparks of energy and healing into my body. Then, four little containers appeared on the disk as it continued to whirl, but at a slower speed. Then they became five. The spirit guides poured a lemon yellow liquid into each one. The containers looked like flared glass candleholders. Each one became about ¼ filled with yellow liquid and then the spirit guides added a lavender liquid. The two liquids formed layers and did not mix. The fluids were poured into the areas of the seven chakras, several times, with additional healings between. They felt soothing, healing, relaxing and peaceful. They repeated this process three times. Some of the healings done were like Reiki.

    “Beautiful” me: After some additional healings, Warren told me that we were going to do something more difficult. He told me they were going to make me beautiful, but without changing how I looked physically. He asked me did I think he was beautiful, and said, without any hesitation, “yes.” He’s probably one of the ugliest “physical” beings I’ve ever seen (though he’s clearly ethereal and not physical, but his appearance is as of a physical warthog), but full of radiant beauty. Truly glowing with beauty. Soul-deep incredibly beauty. It seems like an oxymoron, but it’s true. Warren showed me some people in my life, people who are physically unattractive but deeply beautiful because of the love and compassion they project. (I am crying again). Then he told me that I am one of those people, but of course, I didn’t believe him.

    I have issues and deep grief about my physical appearance. I used to be physically pretty, even occasionally beautiful. But I have become “old, fat, and ugly.” I have wrinkles and am goofy looking, dorky looking, have double chins and a moustache and individual beard hairs. My breasts, belly and butt sag. I am not, at this point, able to accept aging and death with the equanimity and ease I feel I “should” have. “Rage, rage, rage against the dying of the light!”

    “Beauty in,” Warren said, “and beauty out.” They sent me a lot of love and healing. This went on for some time. It was a much longer than usual journey. They all projected the idea what I was truly beautiful even though I didn’t look beautiful to the casual eye and to my own critical eye. I did a lot of crying, and when I cried, they rocked me. They told me they loved me, and I could feel that love. They told me I was beautiful and I could feel that, too, if not wholly believe it. Not physically beautiful, but radiantly beautiful. I don’t feel radiantly beautiful either. I feel as if there are too many flaws. So I cried about lack of physical and radiant beauty and they hugged and held and rocked and healed and repeated.

    We did some other healings yet again and had a closing ceremony during which time we all agreed that this will have to be done again several times for it to fully take root.

    When I got up, in spite of all the healings and love, I was feeling quite a bit of physical pain. My angry inner skeptic began berating me for wasting so much time and having such poor results, but I just laughed.

    Wednesday, October 17, 2012 6:30-8:30 AM
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