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  • I’m having trouble sleeping. Being sick or lonely don't compare. It consumes me. I've always said my favorite time of day are those minutes just before sleep, where I'm so happy to disappear for hours and rest my mind. Now these minutes are hours, and hours are unwelcome.

    I had years where I didn’t dream. My mind would simply shut down, and I’d wake up much calmer than I do now. My dreams are more stressful now than ever, when I can sleep that is. I drift off, then wake up hours later alarmed and confused. I wonder for another hour if it was a dream or real. Sometimes I can't decide, and I consider calling her to see if it's really true. Then I drift off only to awake in a panic an hour later and see if I actually texted her.

    I hate when these nights happen and they come often now. Each time I wake, I look at the shutters hoping to see the daylight leaking through but more often than not its just the streetlight outside. Hoping to see an hour which means my alarm is coming, I sadly check my clock. Hopefully these dreams will discontinue and the hours can go back to minutes.
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