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  • Sometimes, I need to win.
    We played card games growing up, I loved it. Bridge, pinochle, poker, hearts, russian bridge, solitaire, double klondike, the list goes on. Freecell is my forte, I would waste hours on my computer playing it over and over as a kid; when I left for college, I made my dad promise not to mess with my 96% win rate.
    When I graduated college I was diagnosed with a nerve fiber disease. It's not the kind of disease that's easy to tell people about. I've become immune to the word "usually". It "usually" gets better on its own. It "usually" goes away within six months of treatment. People don't "usually" have side effects with the medication. The infertility is "usually" temporary.
    Maybe I'll get better, maybe I won't. The past four years haven't filled me with confidence, but who knows what will happen.
    So when I come home after work and I'm tired because the drugs have wiped me out, I fire up freecell. 10 games later I feel better, becomes sometimes, God help me it feels nice to win.
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