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  • I grew up seeing God as a national shield against Communism, and a weapon to divide and conquer people’s across history of our world.

    He was never personal to me. I never felt like He cared specifically about me. He had to be too big and busy to deal with the disasters around me. I knew He must have been there, otherwise the perfect complexity of my world could not make sense, but he gave me my life tools and left me alone to take care of myself. And besides why did God have to be a He?

    I saw Catholicism as a power dance with people’s souls through great theatre of smoke and mirrors.

    Sweet incense, golden robes, the ritual of Holy Eucharist, stained glass windows on top of ancient skyscrapers of gothic bell towers, golden domes with celestial ceilings, and divine graphic novels sculpted and painted across them were both magical and addictive. They shaped me into the artist I became. But that’s where my affinity to Church ended.

    I know Catholicism and Christianity, like most of other religions has done a large share of genuine good, but all I could see in it was the hierarchy, and either “you are with us” or “against us” attitude used as a formal justification to split people apart from each other and justify power and inequality in the name of God. It is happening here, today, in our country and political system. I thought I left it behind long ago. I was wrong.

    There is a rare feeling of surrender when I paint. There is no fear, no hesitation after the first stroke. It just is what it is supposed to be.

    Through art, I see source of inspiration and my ability to capture and give it a tangible form coming far from beyond me. Labeling it as divine is blasphemous, but it comes to me from some unnamed spirit out there.

    I think I am still waiting. But what if I found my very personal connection with God the first time I picked up my brush and drew a line, and never even knew it?

    (The sketch is of Samuel Beckett, absurdist playwright and Author of "Waiting for Godot")
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