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  • What’s the difference between judging someone and being cautious?
    Can I tell him that his having children on Prozac and Ritalin scares me?
    Scares me – yes. Concerns me – fully. What is the reason anyone would give to a parent to do this?
    Can I tell him that?
    OK, sure. I can tell him that. I can tell anyone anything.
    This drug combo and its possible, even likely, effects on a growing brain –
    Has he thoroughly investigated this?
    What is he on? Can I trust the situation?
    Am I judging? Or simply trusting my instincts?
    Chemistry, funny thing.
    I want his body – and even his tenderness.
    What am I willing to set aside to get it?
    What am I overlooking in favor of sex/companionship/care/partnership?
    Would it be worth it?
    Is this a rabbit hole or the right step?
    He thinks I’m dangling the carrot or steak of my energy and healing
    Am I?
    No.
    I’m watching. And I’m listening. Balancing.
    A quiet forest. Small leaves fall. Worms grub. A bird sounds an alarm.
    A squirrel barks. There is a stream nearby.
    Listening.
    Light filters here, glows brightly there.
    Seeds sprout. Or die.
    I know what I offer. He senses it. Is on his best behavior. Trying to keep his balance.
    It’s the price to myself I want to understand.
    He waves to me engulfed in the steam trail from a train. At a station. Destination unclear.
    Engines rev. Undercurrent.
    Where are the signs?
    All blank.
    Others rush. I stand rooted.
    He motions to me.
    Get on board.
    Through the windows I see
    Luxury compartment.
    Shadows of luggage. Piled high.
    Seating empty.
    Standing. Three children who have lost their mother.
    They look out the window.
    Solemn. Blank.
    What chemistry is behind their eyes?
    How can I judge the prescription made to help them through this loss?
    Who is the doctor? Is it more than one? What do they know?
    Is this my place?
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