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  • For many years I organized once a year a collective art - show.

    One year I invited the female population of San Cristóbal to do works of art about their mothers. It was May, The Month Of The Mother.

    After the opening we invited to a discussion of Mothers And Us.

    Just women came.

    We were about 20 women, young and older and old, from many different countries.

    I talked about how I hated my mother: always trying to be the Marilyn Monroe of our little town in Germany, how her nails had to be tip top and her underwear needed to match her outfit, how we were not allowed to hug her when she was ready to go out with my dad; she did not want her hair - do undone. How men lusted after her. How she expected me to be like her and I could never manage style and elegance. How I would have loved a hippie mother!

    A young woman in the crowd sighed loudly and shouted," NO, not a hippie - mother! I had a hippie - mother and I hated it! I wanted a mother like yours!"

    We sat there, all of us dumfounded.

    We all talked for hours and what I learnt that day was that NO MOTHER IS PERFECT.

    If she is perfect for you, she might not be perfect for me. Life is not perfect. I am not perfect.

    "I am a human - being and that gives me the right to commit mistakes!" was the most important sentence I came upon during my gestalt - therapy - training.

    I guess that is also true for mothers, the ones who gave birth to us and the ones, we have become....

    I know, there are especially unlovable mothers, harsh and cold and cruel mothers.

    Even then: make your own life happy - get yourself to say;" Thank you for having given birth to me, that was enough, I did not need more. Maybe I DID need more, but today I DO NOT need more anymore!"

    Art by Kiki
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