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  • There were four of them. My mom and her three brothers, Scott, Mike and Shawn. Scott fell to cancer back in '97 and in the time since then, the three remaining siblings have only been together one time. Just once in fifteen years. It's like that with some of us for a lot of reasons. Time, distance and personal struggles. I have asked them all in recent days what they think happened that led to this lifetime of struggle and turbulence. No one really seems to know. It's the closest i have seen to a curse and it has served to keep them divided as individuals and as a family for many, many years.

    Last night though, they beat the odds. We were having a birthday dinner for another family member and life somehow got them all together. Dean went and scooped Shawn up and completed the triangle. Such a thing to see. Their eyes are all the same. Their morbid humor is all the same. Their underlying softness and desire for the calming of long lasting storms is the same. Once i get way down to the bottom of everything i see it real clearly and the things their lives lack don't mean so much to me. I guess i've had to find a way to love people for what they are instead of what i wish they would be.

    As they came together in the front yard i had to intrude a little because it was something to be either preserved now or wished for later. Sometimes you only get one more. And i've seen that fate often seems to lack the sentiment that we as Millers are so fond of. I took a few photographs and walked off to stare at the street and swallow what was blocking my air passages and i thought for a minute how much of a hole we all have where this togetherness could exist. How it would be alright with me if gatherings like this happened all the time. And how if a day came that we could take these things for granted, how that would be a good day in our family's life. That day surely isn't today though and it wasn't yesterday either.

    “The people in flight from the terror behind—strange things happen to them, some bitterly cruel and some so beautiful that the faith is refired forever.”
    -John Steinbeck
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