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  • Saturday 6PM.It was a wintry day in the middle of the Cape Town Spring. I sat down on my lounge with a glass of wine, a real luxury as my doctor said my colon is too irritable to welcome even a glass of any alcohol, plus he gave me, a long list of do not eat and a boring one of to does. I was listening to Albinoni's Adagio. The rain was competing with the music and I closed my eyes and let my thoughts free like birds that had been too long in the cage of my mind. They went back flying to places in my past, some places that I did not want to see and others that wanted to go back to. I was covered by a blanket of a thick melancholic feeling and I allowed myself the rare treat to just be me sitting in the chair without having to do anything else but to reflect on my life.
    Some people are scared to reflect too much because the past always brings ghosts and we are terrified by them. I do believe that sometimes it is good to reflect to better understand our life script .
    I opened my eyes for a moment and I saw a picture of myself, taken ten years ago that was placed on a little table by a window.
    I saw a younger Cecilia, happy, mischevious and I wondered what was the secret of her happiness then. Where was the box where she kept her smiles, her joys and her lust for life? I seem to have lost the key.
    I remember a line in one of my favourite movies “the Hours” about Virginia Wolf, where one of the characters said “I was waiting for happiness to arrive, but I did not know then, that happiness was already there"
    Photo by Cecilia
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