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  • "Prof. Henry Higgins: Yes, you squashed cabbage leaf, you disgrace to the
    noble architecture of these columns, you incarnate insult to the English
    language, I could pass you off as the Queen of Sheba!"

    Prof. Higgins to Eliza Doolittle in Shaw’s Pygmalion

    HE: Hey, Doll! You need to do something about your hair, please. Try blond. And get some extensions!

    SHE: (silence)

    HE: Can you find some sexier clothes? You wear jeans all the time. Show your boobs more. Get a push up bra maybe?

    SHE: (silence)

    HE: False eyelashes would look good on you! Definitely. And blue eyeshadow, or maybe dark brown.

    SHE: (silence)

    HE: I’d love to take some photos of you in sexy black lace lingerie! MMMMMMM!

    SHE: (silence)

    HE: You should wear darker lipstick. Blood red, ha ha. And more make up, please! I hate this "natural" look!

    SHE: (silence)

    HE: Hey, could you buy some of those 4-inch stiletto heels? I’d like that. Those shoes turn me on!

    SHE: (silence)

    HE: I’d love to see you wearing only a black lace garter belt! Nothing else! Those belts are a come on, for sure.

    SHE: (silence)

    HE: I could make you look like a porn star. You have the body for it if you would lose 25 pounds! We could do some home movies!

    SHE: (silence)

    HE: Hello?

    HE: Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

    HE: Are you still there?

    HE: Hello? Damn phone! Hello? Hello?

    HE: Hello?

    HE: Bitch! The bitch hung up on me! Effing bitch. Bitch, bitch, bitch!!!

    (Photograph by Alex in the 3-D virtual world of Second Life)
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