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  • I am mean
    I am mean to others
    I am mean to myself
    I can't fathom it
    these thoughts more
    than actions
    I don't act on my darkness
    not usually.

    I don't kick dogs
    or take candy
    from babies
    but I think often
    of just disappearing
    changing my name
    waving goodbye
    when all you've ever been
    is good to me

    I smoke and
    plot revenge
    in the wee hours
    of morning
    long past

    I mentally throw
    myself out a window
    and then watch as
    I fall and fall
    till finally I
    hit the ground
    and then
    I smile

    Maybe without this me
    there wouldn't be the
    other, the me who
    gives without reservation
    the me who rocks babies to
    sleep or grows pretty flowers
    or sings songs, out of tune but true
    the me I like

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