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  • I remember a time, not so many years ago, when I called upon my Father for some advice. I was struggling to remain emotionally involved with a man that I could not grow to love. I cared for him, we had been together for quite some time, but no matter how hard I tried I never fell in love with him. I'll never forget what my Father told me that day.

    "Sweetie, your problem is your unrealistic expectations of your relationships." He continued, "You want love to be like a movie script. You need to accept that life isn't like the movies, just settle down when you find someone that you care about." I remember feeling my heart break hearing those words, despite his good intentions.

    It broke my heart for two distinctly different reasons. I called him for his support in leaving a difficult situation only for him to tell me what I didn't want to hear; didn't need to hear. It hurt to hear him tell me to settle. I was afraid of what that meant for me, and I was afraid of what it meant about his marriage to my Mother. Was I to live my life attached to man I didn't love, simply because he was a good person, or could provide for me, or would give me children? Can you be content in a loveless marriage? Was this how my Father felt about my Mother? Were they not in love?

    I was confused and saddened by his words. I wouldn't normally ask my Father for relationship advice, I don't believe I've done so since.

    Recently, however, it occurred to me that he might have been right. Not right about settling, nobody should ever do that, but he was right about my expectations from love. I wanted that epic, dramatic, star-struck love. The kind of love that they write movies about.

    I realized, that when I ended my relationship with Jack, that was what I truly wanted, in my heart-of-hearts. I wanted him to love me enough to give up everything he had ever known for me. I wanted for him to drive a thousand miles and show up at my doorstep and kiss me; to tell me that he wouldn't let it end like this. I wanted a movie script ending for our movie script love.

    I wanted for him to fight for our relationship when I would not. Instead I learned that he loved me enough to let me go.
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