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  • There's something vacant, yet fills you with warmness. There's a dread of distance, yet a yearning sensation; a want and a need. There lacks physicality yet something completely tangible to look forward to. It's the feeling of missing someone.

    I catch myself among my the randomness of my free days, stopping to spacing out somewhere, thinking to a place where you are. What are you doing right now. How is your day going. The images from the last time I saw you. Then that feeling fills me. I miss you. I believe the feeling of missing someone, isn't a bad feeling. It's a good thing. It means there's something there worth wanting back. There's something there worth thinking about. There's something there worth stopping to space out about. There's an existence of a good memory. I always catch myself foolishly smiling to myself, because for the first time I have a peace of mind, that I will be able to see someone I want to see again. There isn't that possibility that the last time I saw you, is really the last time. I never had that peace of mind before, it's a gorgeous feeling, it's the best way to miss.

    I see the subtle traces of you around the girly madness of my room. It makes me miss you every time. I wonder all the time if you are doing it on purpose. Purposely leaving things that are obviously yours around my space. Sneaky, I think to myself. He's forcing me to think of him. An invasion, into my mind, into my physical space. But for some strange irritating reason this invasion is calming to me. It comforts me. Ok maybe these little souvenirs left around me might mean nothing more but laziness or forgetfulness, but to me it means more. It means many things. He's not physically here but his presence is. It's a sign that he already left but he will come back. Above all it's a reminder, that I miss him; and more simply put it's just a nice feeling.

    The hardest part is admitting it. You always sound so surprise, "Really?" you always tell me when I do actually work the courage to compress all the above into a three word phrase. "I Miss You." I'm glad you sound surprise, it shows how unaware you are of how frequently I think about you. It shows humility and appreciation. It shows that I'm not being taken for granted. It's important to me because I give you a piece of my ego each time I speak of those words, and for you to be surprise it shows that maybe... just maybe... you missed me too.

    I already know I'll be teased. By this display of vulnerability that don't come across often for me. But whatever. This feeling is just like that tie you left with me that you obviously see yet don't take with you; it belongs to you. This feeling of me missing you.

    Yes. Really.
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