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  • ‘I was walking down the road with two friends
    The sun was setting, and I felt a breath of melancholy
    as the sky suddenly turned bloodred
    I stopped and leaned toward the fence, fatally faint
    Looked towards the blazing clouds, like blood and sword
    above the blueblack fjord and city
    My friends kept walking
    I stood there, trembling with angst
    and it felt like the nature uttered a vast, infinite cry’

    – Edvard Munch (a wonderful writer, better known for his paintings)

    * * *

    “I could have told you it would be devastating if you let it go too far,” he says, looking at me with concern. He always says I don’t listen to advice, I guess that’s why he hasn’t offered any.

    But what is too far, and how will you ever know danger if you don’t get up close?

    “You’re balancing on the edge,” he says. Well, is there any other way around? He cannot say, he doesn’t know, he’s never been that far down the road. He’s better than me at turning around in time, or going home before darkness falls, or asking for help, he is better than me at so many things.

    How can I explain so that he’ll understand, how can I express an emotion I don’t even know how to word? Something to think about, meanwhile I’ll stay here by the fence, overlooking the blazing clouds, the vast landscape, doing all I can not to be deterred by this wild cry inside.
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