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  • What a year. I broke off two relationships, but not before near-relocation to Manhattan. My car was totaled and I suffered intense back pain (not completely gone even now) and frontal lobe damage (hence, almost moving to Harlem on a whim to live with a 52yo dog walker). I remained plagued by lingering symptoms of psychological trauma and responded poorly to them. My MS reached the point where my pride was circumvented into a disability application. There was no way at this point in my disease process, I faced truly believing, that I would ever saddle anyone to myself. I had a realistic dream of owning my grandmother's house that became, very suddenly, a false future. I am still waiting on SSDI and SNAP.

    But I did change my life for the better by jumping off an 855' tower in Las Vegas and conquering Manhattan solo. I concluded issues with my previous employer, hence departing the adult industry forever. After almost a decade without, the feeling has returned to my arms and legs... negating my ability to perform party tricks like laying my hand in a frying pan to the astonishment to all around me. I have lost nearly 100lbs despite the fatigue of my condition and despite the possibility of going blind via exercise. Now I may transition from being near-bedridden to becoming a yoga instructor. I left my name and email on a car dealer's business card for the most beautiful waitress I'd ever seen... and it turned out that she is The One. By 12/31/11, my dog and I have been living with her for months. I've gotten to impress her by expertly handling a crackhead at the local Sunoco. I've gotten to begin really healing. I have begun feeling blessed (although, to be clear, I am still opposed to the concept of any organized religion). I have begun feeling excited about life again, and so very happy. In the last 24 hours, I have made such a huge breakthrough in my recovery that now I feel myself again for the first time in a decade. I love and am so very, very loved. I am so endlessly grateful.
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