Forgot your password?

We just sent you an email, containing instructions for how to reset your password.

Sign in

  • I don't know about you, but I'm broken.

    I want people to like me. I eat too much cake. I'm a teensy bit of a control freak. I'm not very good at asking for things.

    Some of these patterns of behaviour are changeable. It's taken me 37 years to like yoghurt but I did get there in the end. Others will improve, some ever-so slowly and some in dramatic shifts.

    But a few of my current dysfunctional patterns (or some completely new ones that are utterly out of awareness right now) may never be 'fixed'. I might go to my grave checking how many books I've sold on Amazon.

    It's fashionable at the moment for coaches and teachers to tell their potential students/clients that they are not broken.

    This is admirable as it comes as a counter-attack to a particularly manipulative kind of marketing which convinces us we are so desperate and beyond ordinary help that we need to spend lots of money on the latest diet/money-making-scheme/self help technique.

    It is true that we usually underestimate our own resources, our own capacity to heal, our own wisdom.

    For me, this message misses something out. It is helpful to know how broken we are. It reassures us that we are not the only evil/jealous/greedy person on the planet. It helps us to have compassion for ourselves and we could all do with more self-compassion. It helps us to understand how impossibly difficult it might be for other people to change.

    It's no accident that I feel at home in Pureland Buddhism. It places great importance on our realisation of our how susceptible we are to our own deep (and sometimes unconscious) flaws and needs. It even has a special phrase to describe how broken we are. Bombu: a foolish being of wayward passion. That's me - bombu in spadefuls.

    The good news is that we are also taught that we are acceptable exactly as we are. Exactly as we are. Can you hear that?

    Paradoxically, seeing our broken-ness clearly and loving it is all we need to do if we want to change. It's how we can help others change too.

    I don't mean to make it sound simple. Seeing our and other's broken-ness and loving it. Our greatest and most difficult task in life.

    I am broken. And I am acceptable and okay exactly as I am. I would make a guess that you are too.


    PS Do send me some love back. I'm a bombu being. I want you to like me ; )


    'This is my scarred heart' by Jo Young, with thanks.
    • Share

    Connected stories:


Collections let you gather your favorite stories into shareable groups.

To collect stories, please become a Citizen.

    Copy and paste this embed code into your web page:

    px wide
    px tall
    Send this story to a friend:
    Would you like to send another?

      To retell stories, please .

        Sprouting stories lets you respond with a story of your own — like telling stories ’round a campfire.

        To sprout stories, please .

            Better browser, please.

            To view Cowbird, please use the latest version of Chrome, Safari, Firefox, Opera, or Internet Explorer.