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  • This is for those who watch sunsets alone. It’s not that I’m complaining about not having some sentimental someone to watch the lights bid ado with I’m just trying to validate the fact that it’s okay to be alone.
    It’s okay to be alone.
    Something I’ve learned this summer. Something it took me 19 years to learn and only a few moments to understand-
    That sometimes your own personal silence is better than a few empty “I love You’s”.
    See I’ve always had to have someone around, it’s as if I was afraid of what my own shadow would tell me or that my brain would somehow use this free time as an invite to un-suture the put away files marked “The ones we forgot on purpose.”
    I had this idea that summer would bring me bliss, a newfound appreciation for sweet tea, rocking chairs and true love. But I got burnt on more than just my skin and I’m thinking that this whole romanticized four-month heat wave of hell is nothing more than a myth. See I’ve walked with guys down that pier as if I was taking them to practice their walks down the wedding aisle, I don’t think any of them broke through these walls.
    The other day they asked us if we needed any support.
    And as my eyes teared up I diverted the radar like stares and thought to myself “Sure. Hell I need help but I’m not about to ask a bunch of strangers”.
    Then again all of you are strangers just listening because you’re forced to and yet by bearing my skin to you I feel less naked than as if it were my own reflection,
    I just don’t think I’m ready to be with someone. I spent all this time avoiding being alone and now that’s all I ever want to be. Alone with my memories and stories and books. Safe inside these walls.
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