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  • I keep a personal vault of memories of feelings in the back of my mind at all times -- I think that before, it used to keep me in check. It kept me from making the same mistakes over and over again, taught me the importance of patience, showed me that over time, all things come to fruition in their own way.

    Lately, though... I don't know. I think I've seen too many endings. I feel like I've spent too much time mulling over old memories and being too scared to make new ones; every time things start to feel familiar, I preemptively start letting it go, because I think I know how it ends if I hang on. But where does that leave me? Who does that make me? A wandering fool who never lets himself get attached to anything because he thinks it's all just going to end poorly? It's a quick journey to ruin, letting your ship set sail into lonely solitude, never setting down an anchor... Time will drive you mad, and the quiet of the night will only fill itself with everything that you've always tried to forget and keep inside...

    I know this, because I've seen it happen in others, and I can see it happening in myself, but right now, it's so much easier to spend my nights like this... Drifting away.
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