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  • I can never go back to Aleppo, Al Hasakah, Duhok, Mosul, Erbil, Miandohab,Rasht, Gobishan,Herat and so many more, although I left them a lifetime ago, now , I am band. Persona non grata. Cut off, denied. Hated for what I am...
    An American
    How sad.
    I wished they would hate me for who I am.
    My real brother does. Sometimes.
    Says ignorant shit, like how can you still Love the enemy? Bought all that 9-11 shit, to bad.

    I had invited him to come to ten thousand bars around the world, but he will only drink at one.
    Never went anywhere, so , makes sense to hate anyone , that is not him, Nascar,football or the Simpsons
    When I remind him of how many Real friends I made there, in so many other towns and cities and countries, his redneck response is " Fuck em." as he turns away again.
    I mean, what can you say to that?"
    Sorta puts the cooler on a celebration , like today...

    Maybe my parents weren't kidding , when they asked about me.. "Whose kid is This, anyway?"
    "To late to give him back, send him away?"
    I had closer family in Damascus, Hamadan and Kirkuk to say nothing of Kabul and Halabad.
    I was welcomed and treated like a honored guest and true friend, Invited everywhere like family and Now all that has been betrayed.
    I wished they all hated me for who I am , since I have not stopped loving them for who they are. Mothers fathers, brothers sisters husbands wives daughters and sons. Students, workers, lawyers, Professionals, soldiers, builders, farmers,clergy , wanderers and dreamers. Humans, just like us. NO more or less and that is a Fact!
    I wished they hated me, so I could just forget how Love beckoned me to go on when none of my friends would.
    Sure, it was lonely and tough and I was poor, and sometimes hungry or lost, but They always, always helped, took me in, gave me water food, always the best they had, even denying themselves, they might eat tomorrow, and let me rest. Other times, I had no problem with funds, yet , I was treated the same.
    Oh god I wished they hated me for who I was, then I wouldn't have to remember what kinship and honor,trust, love, knowledge, brotherhood of family truly means, for me right now

    Now the fucking assholes who don't know me, or Know shit about anything and never will, are running a Nazi program from Nazi Germany- communist china and Russian gulags via the senate and the congress INC., right here in the good o'l U s of a, and asking me questions about who and when and where and what, and why, restricted me to a no fly list, because they never had a life...

    god, this crap would make Kafka's head spin,Orwell, telling me, " I told you so'', or Borrow's comment about Frying pans or Golding reminding me about what I said and did when WE were ordered to act out the Lord of the Flies when I was ten. ( I told the teacher, I wasn't going to play- fuck her- I knew even then , how screwed up it would get, and IT DID)
    How fucked up was thattttt? Teaching us how to be savages, then make us go on Sunday to repent?
    She sent me to the principles office as someone who just wouldn't fit in, got suspended , like it was the same as going to school- something that happened five days a week and even more when I found out, I had to fight since no one would make me shut up or make a better argument for their beliefs.

    God, I wished they hated me more, rather than less, since I have always known who the enemy really is..

    "They ( of course) ........ IS.............. US. and me....

    I just want see my friends, their eyes and smiles and talk again with them, hold their hands for awhile , to let them know It wasn't me, destroying their chances, culture, or family, that I , didn't kill them.
    god , I'm so sad right now, I can't even see
    and i got a few more windows to frame, before it rains.


    please think or pray or imagine, sometime today, a life for all of us, for love , gentleness, and peace...
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