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  • I remember when I used to stay up restlessly rolling around in bed, and how badly I wanted to fall asleep. How hard I tried to remember how it was like to just be able to peacefully sleep. Didn't matter how badly I wanted to, or how hard I tried, sleeping didn't come as easily as it should. I remember when I do finally fall asleep I never wanted to wake up. The feeling where the sun rises through your window blinds and you can feel your body wanting to wake up, but you continue to fight to stay asleep. You turn into a crevice between your pillow and the wall and force yourself to continue to sleep. To wake up and to struggle through another day seems like too much to take. You finally wake up with a huge headache from the constant fight to sleep the night before, and the overwhelming gravitational force attaching you to your bed. Yet you lay there feeling like you have nothing important to do and nowhere meaningful to go.

    I'm honestly so happy to be able to say those long nights and stressful mornings are well over with, and I don't miss it one little bit. I find myself being able to naturally fall asleep at night. The kind of tired I feel before I sleep is a nice kind of tired. The kind where you feel like you had an accomplished day. You did everything you intend on doing, you spend your time with people you wanted to be with, and by the end of the day, that tired is the kind that cradles you into a deep sleep. A good kind of tired.

    My mornings have been so great. I wake up early in the morning, almost everyday. I wondered for the longest time why I woke up so early everyday nowadays when I used to stay in bed until 1 or 2 in the afternoon before. I realized it was because my body is healthy and my mind is positive; those two facts keep me waking up early everyday. Once you do wake up, you stay awake, there is really no need to linger around in bed struggling to sleep some more. You have something to look forward to in your day. You have meaning. Meaning in your life. Whatever it is it's hard to pinpoint. But the meaning is there, so much so that even your unconscious mind knows it, and it can't wait to start the day, way before you are even awake.

    I hope this amazing feeling last for a long time. Even if it doesn't I just know it's these new nights and refreshing mornings that I'll remember forever; and a reminder for me in the future, that times of peace and love with come to you if you just keep hanging in there. For those of you who tells me you are going through a tough time and I know you might feel like things will never change, but trust me if you hang in there long enough it will. I've been there. But look at me now, I also got here to this point, and trust me... It's worth the wait. I promise.
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