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  • I've only been on one Internet date. I was encouraged to try an Internet dating site to meet eligible men after a girlfriend of mine met and married a very nice man she'd met online. I was ambivalent about it at best, but my friend convinced me to give it a try. I do think this form of meeting is a boon for women in that they have a chance to correspond with a man and evaluate a potential date before meeting. I just wasn't that good at it.

    After a few days, I was virtually winked at and then e-mailed by a gentleman who was in my age group, successful, and eager to meet me. We sent a few e-mails back and forth and then arranged to meet. I remembered all the advice other women had passed on in regard to meeting a man for a blind date, including a mandate to meet at a neutral place for an afternoon date - that way no alcohol would be involved, and no pressure for the hook up at the end of the evening.

    We decided to meet at a local bookstore where we could have coffee. Pretty non-committal. I got there first and I admit I was nervous. I took my time dressing for the date and felt like I was going on an audition. I wanted to present the best version of myself possible. Truthfully, I considered standing the guy up - I was not at all sure I was up to it. It took a lot of positive self-talk, but eventually I found myself sitting at a table, casually watching the door.

    When Bachelor Number One arrived, it was everything I could do to hide my surprise. Although his profile had listed his height as 5'7, the man who made his way to my table was about my height - 5'3" - on his tip-toes! I wished I had worn flats - it is not often that I find myself taller than a man I am with. I had seen a photo of him - but it was a head shot.

    I know this sounds superficial - but I couldn't get over the height thing. I was on a date with a Keebler Elf. I remember little of what we talked about. I couldn't wait to get away from there. The whole time he was talking, I was busy planning my escape. I chastised myself mentally. I should have browsed the stacks of books, waiting and watching - if I had, I could have slipped out unnoticed. After what seemed like a polite amount of time, I told my date that I had many errands to run. We paid for our coffee - he bought - and then we walked out to the parking lot where -and this is no part of a lie - Bachelor Number One climbed into what looked like a Monster truck ( a little over-compensation?)

    My self-talk on the way home went like this - WTF was that all about? 5'7" my ass!! Just my luck! I am taking that profile off as soon as I get back! I was literally shaking my head. I waited for the red light to change - thinking back on the date, the truck, and Bachelor Number One (hereafter to be known as the Elf). The whole mortifying date suddenly became so funny...

    I burst out laughing and laughed the whole way home.

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