It was my first time experimenting with sewing a costume for myself. I say experimenting because teaching was definitively not involved here. I had no patience to learn anything of structure from anyone as a kid. I went through three frustrated piano teachers and a tragic crochet lesson where I think my sweet Grandma cussed worse than "darn!"

Stubborn as a constipated old man I was. And like an old man of a certain thousand past generations I was not about to have anyone show me how to sew. I was going to wing it out myself.

I wanted a fish costume and I had only one material. Brown plastic tablecloth. The kind you are supposed to throw out after you're done with an economy-sized birthday party in the park.

Using my embroidery thread and a needle I bunched the fabric together in spots. Whenever I broke sewing to use the bathroom I wouldn't be able to properly continue when I returned. I couldn't find whatever spot I had just been working on. Even worse then that I couldn't tell which part was up, down or where I was planning on attaching fins.

But I worked on it every night for a week or so, until I debuted it at school for my oceanography class's final skit.

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