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  • I have work to do but I just can’t focus, my mind is preoccupied, my hands are fidgeting and I can barely sit still. I need to go for a run to feel like I am moving forward gaining ground and to feel my heart and lungs being pushed into second gear of exhilaration. Working 37.5 hours a week in a soul destroying job has this ability to keep you firmly entrenched in that point in time, you become a drone and time becomes merged with days, weeks, and before you know it you have been there 4 years and in those 4 years you are still a stranger to everyone. My old boss called today it was as if he didn’t know me that I hadn’t made him countless cups of tea and fetched his bacon breakfast rolls for 2 years. Before he hung up I plucked up the courage to bring some familiarity to the conversation, I said how are you and he had to talk to me and it was awkward and I have no idea why. I looked around me at my peers and thought all my relationships sit on the cusp of just acquaintances never delving into a connection. I am always a second thought and today that feeling really hurts.
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