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  • I can’t help but look at you; you’re standing there speaking to people who all adore you.

    I wish there was a way I could show you how amazing you are. People follow you like puppies and you still don’t see it.

    When I met you I felt less than as if unworthy of your attention, the way my heart fluttered when you sent me a message just to let me know that you were thinking about what we spoke on.

    How I, months later after not hearing from you or seeing you, not that I expected to ever again, forgot you and left you out of my mind.

    When next we saw each other you had become a friend to me, I forgot how I first felt about you, about your presence and adored every moment I ever spent with you thereafter never wanting more, always content.

    A while ago we started seeing each other more often, never arranged always randomly. We started speaking via messages often thereafter, you started complimenting me – I complimented you back feeling lucky that someone like you would ever see something beautiful in someone like me.

    You invited me over to watch a movie, I had wine – we never watched that movie.

    Instead you spoke and I listened crying, then it was my turn and you cried. I can’t remember that we ever had a conversation, instead when I close my eyes I remember our souls dancing together our voices vibrating a melody for them to dance.

    I remember not wanting to leave you for ten minutes as I would feel that those ten minutes, though you would be in the next room, would have been stolen from us and the time we were spending together.

    How badly I never wanted to leave. We parted and as sad I was about it I was also glad.

    You had given yourself to me to think about, Id play soft music and lie down on my bed the sun streaming in through the lace curtains, sighing and dreaming. You had awoken the first feelings I had for you hidden within me.

    And then the time and space would grow bigger since last we saw each other. We had gotten so busy.

    The next visit there was another with you, the visit felt forced in the first half an hour, there after we thought we’d go out.
    We all got along tremendously and had quite a fantastic time together; I watched how you’d been adored by other people and how oblivious you were to the fact that anyone could possibly like you.
    I had lingering hopes that you still felt affectionate about me. That you might like me more...I left early the next morning – none of us had slept or were going to. You kissed me on the lips seeing me into the car and waving goodbye we parted ways.

    This became a Grey area of confusion because you would be hot and cold all at once. I thought of you every day and sent you messages every day, I realized you were busy and started not expecting messages back. Our connection started feeling severed. Your words became cold and empty. Our smiles became forced. I was losing my mind.

    My confusion is growing and I am losing the last bit of hope I have that you might like me more. I’m thinking of you every day but less than the day before. I’m getting used to not hearing from you. The distance that shows in your words is becoming greater. The hole growing in my heart is filling with emptiness.

    As a treat I allow myself to dwell on you and that time our souls danced, how much affection I have for you but I can never keep you there so I let you go and hope that perhaps one day we may dance together again. Then I feel stupid for ever allowing myself to fall this hard. I feel Naked and exposed.

    I wish that I can show you how lucky I am to know you and how loved you truly are, I wish that I could fill the empty spaces in your heart. Most Importantly I wish that you could find yourself whole again.

    I can’t help but look at you; you’re standing there speaking to people who all adore you.

    Your eyes meet mine briefly and then they move away. And as If I have lost something special I stand up and leave the table disappearing in the shadows, after all I was lucky that someone like you ever did find something beautiful in someone like me.
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