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  • As you may know, I run a little Bed & Breakfast in Portsmouth, UK.

    This morning – after breakfast – I said goodbye to my latest guests.
    “Look after each other, drive carefully, see you again sometime!”

    Then I went upstairs to start changing the room. Although, it must be said, I have never actually “changed” a room, just cleaned it really.

    Well. As I stepped into their room I noticed that they (she?) had left a hair-dryer behind.
    I do supply hair-driers in each room but this couple had brought their own and had forgotten to take it away with them. Fancy one, it was. Much better than the ones I supplied. My first thought was that you could probably get on the internet with that thing. You know it is going to happen.

    My second thought was “****”! They have only just left – they are on foot – if I grab this and rush out the door I can probably catch up with them and return their item.

    Yep. You got it. A crazed B&B owner runs into the street clutching a hair-drier frantically looking around.

    I don't know about you but there is only one way to hold a hair-drier. It is the same way that one would hold a gun. I spotted this within 10 seconds and thought that I must look pretty foolish to some people but I am maybe scaring others who do not realise that Revlon have never turned their manufacturing skills towards small arms.

    So I slowed down. Still have to find this couple, mind. They cannot be too far away surely?

    I found that I was walking like Clint Eastwood – armed with a hair-dryer. You do remember that film don't you?

    “When a man with a rifle meets a man with a hair-drier, the man with the hair-drier is a dead man”.

    Nonchalance does not even cover it. I almost started preening. “Oh! Yes lady. That is a Revlon 45 Hair-Drier that you are looking at. It can dry hair at 200 yards. At this range it will not only dry your hair, it will put all of it on the pavement behind you. Do you feel lucky?”

    I – having failed to locate my guests – now have to retreat to my B&B with whatever dignity I can muster. I started walking backwards towards my front door. Covering all the angles with my hair-drier.
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