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  • When I was 19, I started to discover little bits and pieces about my parents; things that no one had ever told me. My mother started to slip me some stories in letters while I was away at school in France. The photos I found later tucked in a drawer. I loved them; I still love them. They are a little bit of my father. So Dad, if you happen to read this, know that it is not a critique. I cherish all the artifacts of your life, of my mom's life, even my own life. Maybe it has to do with having lived a half a century. I muse about how it all began, fascinated now that I am starting to like were it has ended up.

    Below is the text on the word painting from my very first post here on Cowbird. I was testing the waters with my big toe before I jumped in.

    This is from a letter my mother wrote to me in 1979.
    Saturday 1/6
    Toni, talk about soap operas -- tonight Joanne called from Penna. (your Dad's girlfriend) Anyway, she was the only one I knew about. She was "smashed." - I think? But she was so upset about breaking up my marriage and didn't know Tony was married (in fact she said she loved him and he said he was single.) He had other girlfriends too, the stinker.

    Anyway, she said he went on a trip one time and a guy came over and said Tony was married and his wife was expecting. When she confronted him with the knowledge, he said he was getting a divorce and wanted to marry her. Said the baby wasn't his! He lied so much (I really had to laugh). She said she didn't believe him.

    Anyway over the years she has been calling me, I think she still loves Tony. I told her after 20 years to forget it - I never had any hard feelings towards her anyway. She said she was happily married now and had so much to make up to me and you (the baby). She wanted your address but she had so much trouble taking down Tony's we did not get around to yours. She was very interested to know that we were finally divorced. (She had me repeat it to her several times) She said maybe things will work out. I said "no thanks." She wanted his phone number but I never thought to ask you for it. Oh God I wish I were a Genie (The beautiful out of the bottle kind.)

    Goodbye for now, Love,


    The image above is Yuriko not Joanne. An artifact sent to my mom for me to eventually find and treasure.
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