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  • Don´t stop writing!

    Nobody has to read what he or she does not want to read.

    You are angry. You have a lot of reasons to be angry at.

    I am often angry. I am mad at the world and God and that each sentient being has to eat another to be able to survive. I am mad at God, who I do not believe in, that he or she created a world so indifferent, with such a lack of love wherever I look.

    I am angry at my eyes fading away - being so filled with visual ideas. I am mad at getting old, at my husband and son being alcoholics, at me not being the woman I want to be... and yes, I am angry at the banks and the governments, at the kidnappers, who torture this country, the narcotraficantes, the flood of corrupt politicians. I am furious at all the fathers here, who abandon not just wives, but children to never ever see them again. I am desperate at the kidney stones my son suffers from, the cancer that killed my friend... yes, I am also angry at the US for invading countries and making big bucks with guns and liberating the rich from just taxes, I am mad at watching people vote against their own interests in the US and confusing social democracy with communism and the ignorance everywhere in general, yes, also the Pope....and Switzerland still thriving on Hitler´s gold and Israel treating Palestinians like 2nd class citizens and.......

    It is all just too much to hold in my head. My heart does not even want to try containing this: it trembles and shivers. I am crushed. I wake up sweating at night, just feeling utter darkness, losing all, the psychotherapist and vipassana meditator!

    I do not see God. What exactly is The Holy? All Life Is Sacred - is it? Or is it just a huge coincidental joke: Life is a bitch and then you die?

    Really, Tony, I am with you, I do not know anything but one fact: what I most desire is BLISS, the one Peter Duong describes so deliciously. I know that anger, fury and desperation are the antidotes to bliss.

    Come, Tony: yell with me, scream with me, let our shit hit the fan! Let us bang our heads at the walls of the world until we break down crying! Let us sob until our own pain and the pain in the world break our hearts open!

    What a piece of work! What a struggle! And each and every moment I fear that the following moment I might just drop dead from exhaustion!

    There is no other way it seems: our hearts have to break if we want them to open up.

    My heart is open to you!

    Art by Kiki (My Heart Is Open To You!)

    More Paintings
    My Blog
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    Kiki en TELEMUNDO
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