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  • ... I no longer have to dedicate to being miserable over you.

    It's different. It's different being able to sleep without worry, and wake up without regret. It's different, to be able to look forward to the plans I have during the week without being tied down to the constant wonder of what you are doing, what you are thinking, and who you are with. It's different, to be able to enjoy my weekends, going about with the confidence I deserve. Above all, it's different, to want to be happy and to be able to actually feel happy.

    I look at this picture of me and my friends and I see a smile that I forgot I can make. As much as you try to replicate true happiness, happiness has to come naturally, and slowly. It needs to come with time and work, and most of the time, it needs to come with some help. Help was exactly what I received from those who actually cared about me. The love and care he made me feel I didn't deserve was sent to me ten fold, and appreciation is really an understatement.

    Today I decided to visit the restaurant we always went to when you came to see me. I had the courage to walk in there and deal with the tainted images of us. Surprisingly I looked around and everything seemed new with possibilities instead of old with past memories. I let out a breath of relief and sat down with a friend for a drink. We clinked the glass and I told him, "to new and improved memories."

    That's exactly what I dedicate my new weekends to, the new and improved memories without you. Somehow deep within my heart, I know I want to hold on and remember them, but my surroundings tell me it's time to let them go, and make some space for some new well deserved ones.
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