Today marks 21 years without a drink. It's a very good thing. And it wasn't as hard as you might think. Once I asked, sincerely, for the desire to drink to be lifted - it was. And so all I've had to do these past 21 years is not drink. And I have been blessed with receiving every thing I have ever wanted in life. Love. And education. A house. Children. A driver's license. Serenity.
This doesn't mean that the idea of the demon creeping back into my life isn't something I don't think about. I do. Every day. This awareness keeps me sober. I'm hypersensitive to the fact that the demon wants me dead and he employs cunning to get what he wants. Which is why when I think about how my wife and daughters have never known me as an active drunk and how maybe a dose of gratitude is in order - I'm grateful for my awareness. That this kind of thinking is just a lie. And that nothing is worth another drink. Not today, anyway.
I will say this though, I am worried about irony today - and am on the lookout for being hit and killed by a 21-year old driver who just had their first drink.