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  • You know, there’s a way you could see the history of the planet, the history of this funny, scary world? Wanna know how? Go get in a rocket ship, one that can fly away from the earth super fast, faster than daddy’s truck when he’s driving angry, faster than the wild horses outside the town, faster than the speed of light. And keep going til you get to some star that’s like, just as far away from earth as to look like a star, but the other way round. So that when you land on the star, and look back the earth looks like a star instead. Got it so far? Then you gotta build a telescope, massive, huge and ginormous all at the same time. It’s gotta be so big and so powerful that you can look through it and see right to the surface of the earth, close enough to look at each street and each house and each tree. And guess what? You’d see it how it was millions of years ago. It’s like when we see stars here on earth that have already burnt up, but the light from them takes so darn long to get here we get tricked all the time into thinking that these things are there when they’re really not. Neat, huh? I know life is like that too, going back in time, seeing things that happened a while ago as if maybe they only happened last Tuesday or 5 seconds ago. And I think my daddy has magic powers like that. Or I should say, I KNOW he does, because I do. And that way you can find out what’s real truth and what’s lies. So if you looked through your telescope and saw Jesus walking around and turning water into wine and what not, well you’d have to come to some agreement with yourself that that must be true after all – what if you saw a dinosaur come and rip his head off? That’d be gross. The moral of the story is, lying is bad and you shouldn’t; you can get into all sorts of trouble and really you only hurt yourself. So don’t lie. And don’t drink milk before you go to bed either.

    Have you seen the hair on James Dean? I think it’s got this little life all it’s own. It’s tight and curly in those pictures when he’s happy, and I swear to goodness when he’s looking lonely it sorta droops down. Like it’s following his sadness all the way. I got a whole lotta new books from the library, and sometimes I read with my feet up on the wall next to the tv, lying on my back so it gets stiff from the wood, and the tv is on too, and then daddy comes in and clomps about and I love it when he’s there but sometimes I worry HE doesn’t love it quite so much. That’s why you see, I’ve gotta make him smile once a day, once a day and rub my nose in soot or something and then we can bring her back.

    I don’t seem to have a whole lot to say right now. It feels like a chore to talk some days, like my mouth’s saying Uh Uh, you need a rest. And my head sorta agrees with that.

    “I know that I hung on a windy tree
    Nine long nights,
    Wounded with a spear, dedicated to Odin
    Myself to myself,
    On that tree of which no man knows
    From where its roots run.”

    People seem to lose their kids all the times. There was this woman who lost her baby, my mom’s friend, she was crying about it and groaning and such. But I remember mom saying it wasn’t her fault. Now fancy that, you go and lose yourself a baby and people say it isn’t your fault? It doesn’t seem right to me. Should have tried to not lose it in the first place.
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