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  • My worries started as soon as I became a parent. Of course I also got worried about things before that, but never in the same scale as I have since I became a parent. It's a constant monologue that goes on in my head wondering about every aspect of their lives...

    She seemed to like theater camp. But she also liked cyber camp last year, even though she hasn't done a lot more related to that since camp... What about that awesome camp I saw the other day? The Tinkering School, that's it. That's what would be good to empower her, to learn to figure things out by herself... mmm... but that's in San Francisco. I wonder if there is something similar around here...


    She still talks excessively more in English than in Portuguese, even though she seems to understand when I talk to her in Portuguese. What did I read in that book about bilingual children? They need at least 50 hours a week of the minority language.... how many hours I spend talking to her? 1.5 hours in the mornings... 2 hours in the evenings... 20 hours more in the weekends...


    And on, and on, and on....

    But by far the worst of my recurring fears is the one I face some mornings, when I am already awake for a little while, having completed a few of my early morning daily chores, and then I notice the silence in the house... but it's past 8am, she should be up by now.... I know she is well and that I should let her sleep in and take advantage of the fact that I can get more things done while everyone is still in bed, but still I worry until I hear her waking up and calling me into her room. And every time, at that very moment when I hear her happy voice calling me, I think about a passage from Nick Hornby's book "Slam":

    Something I've noticed is that Roof's noises make the room seem more peaceful. You wouldn't think it would work like that, would you? You'd think that the only way a bedroom can seem peaceful in the middle of the night is if nobody is making any noise. I think what it is, though, is that you're so frightened a baby's going to suddenly stop breathing that all his snuffles and stutters sound like your own heartbeat, something that tells you all is right in the world.



    And then I hear them laughing... and I feel in my heart that all is right in the world.
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