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  • Marquese,
    I wrote this in one of our free-write sessions this summer. You were sitting across from me, eating ice cream, writing your beautifully raw and touching poetry. I felt an outpouring of love for you and so I wrote about it:

    I am fragile.
    You are strong.
    Much as I hate to admit it, I need you. I need you because you are more than myself.
    You have told me countless times that you admire my independence. Well my independence is a facade for a terrified young woman, desperately craving approval, love, validation from anyone but myself and since day one, you have provided all of that and more.
    I love making you laugh. The high, mirthful cackle, morphing into the low throaty chuckle, typically followed by a snort. The laugh Ryan likes to make fun of. Nobody laughs like you. When I make you laugh I feel briefly, fiercely possessive of you. You laughed for me, just for me. You are my friend, my dear friend and only I can make you laugh like that. That small moment of your life was created by me and it will always belong to me.
    I am a selfish creature.
    But you know that already.

    I want to sit here and write with you forever, in any shop, library, dorm room, anywhere.
    You make me better.
    You make me want to dream and aspire to great things, to have more faith in myself and in those around me, and in God.
    You know exactly when to humour me and when to tell me to quit bitching.
    In your presence I am never embarrassed or ashamed of myself. You open up my mind and my heart in a way nobody else has.
    And I'm afraid I have taken you for granted. So many days I didn't realize what a blessing you were in my life, but you have always been what I needed.
    I don't know what I gave you. I have no idea what I could have provided for you that nobody else could. You have given me so much in these past years and I don't know how to reciprocate. All I can do is make you laugh.
    So I'll fill our time with laughter and then it will belong to me and I will hold on to those moments when you're not here anymore.

    I'm so happy for you and this opportunity you have. I know this is by no means the end of us, but like you, I mourn the loss of daily communication and there-ness that we've always enjoyed. Keep singing and laughing and helping others. I'll see you soon!
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